Road to Success

How big a role did boldness or determination play? How are they able to cultivate a sense of humility?

What might they have done differently, in retrospect, and what advice would they share with other men, young and old, looking to achieve success in their field?

Here’s what each of them wrote back. (Some responses were edited for space.)

Challenges: My first challenge was believing in why I was starting a new brokerage with a new model when all I received was negative feedback including that my model would fail because I was perceived as a discount brokerage with no value or support. My second challenge was keeping up with all my current projects including a changing market, continuing to sell real estate, move forward with investments, keeping up with new laws and required documents, etc. And who could forget 2020? Selling real estate during a pandemic is hard enough. Add growing a company to the mix and you can easily get overwhelmed.

Family: It was very difficult to juggle everything! It takes a huge commitment not only to find success but continue it day in and day out. It’s nice to say there is a balance and you can do all of them, but it’s very hard to do. However, my family was and continues to be my motivation to do something different and leave a legacy my three children can follow, should they choose to do so.

Boldness/determination: It played a big role! If you don’t believe in yourself first, nobody will! I was 100 percent committed to my vision and never deviated from my target. Boldness allowed me to never react to all the naysayers, it was moving forward in spite of those who didn’t believe.

Humility: This was easy! Every new agent we would hire was an opportunity to remember where we started because I was reminded of the excitement I felt on my first day as an agent and how little I knew about real estate. I understand that I am here to help everyone around me so they learn from my mistakes, and benefit from my experience. Humility comes when you’ve had to earn every stripe and paid your dues. When you’ve been thrown into different markets and learned to evolve or die. Understand there is a difference between being a boss and being a leader. My vision led me to be the latter.

Retrospect: Promote our value. Show agents what we offered in terms of support and business growth.

Advice: Be a student of the game! Stop letting ego get in the way of really helping others succeed. Too many agents or brokers are so focused on social media fame rather than improving their craft. Don’t fall for the need to be glorified and admired by your peers. Instead, aim to be a top-producing solo agent, top-producing team, owning a top-producing company. Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.

Let me start with, I would not be where I am today if it was not for my family and the sacrifices our parents made to give us such opportunity. Our Countryside businesses now employs more than 500 people throughout two counties, but this success did not come without challenges.

Challenges: I started a new commercial construction division of our company in 2006, expanding into an industry that was dominated by a select few. I also found out quickly that clients had a natural distrust for general contractors. I was one of the very first Punjabi Sikh contractors in Kern County and I had to prove to my clients that Countryside Construction could not only build a great product, but we could do it faster than others, be more cost effective and still give them a great experience while doing it. I had to earn their trust. That took time, but we did it one client at a time. Countryside was built on the backbone of customer service. Our father taught us, “If you do something for anyone, give it your all and remember nothing is more important than your word and the respect of your name.” I have taken this approach my entire professional career and believe it is a key to success.

Family: There is nothing more important than family. Being a son has taught me respect, because my parents have given everything they have to see us succeed. The knowledge they pass on is priceless, I cherish it and listen to it. As a brother, I have a sister who guided me throughout my life. Having her standing with me through any conflict gave me the confidence to take on the toughest of challenges and I am better because of it. As a husband, I realized to achieve the aspirations you want in life, it can only be accomplished if you have a partner who supports you. My wife works with me daily, helping balance business, family, finances and everything in between. There is nothing we can’t accomplish when done together. Being a father is truly what motivates me. Something ignited in me the day I became a father. I finally understood what drove my parents to work so hard every day so we could have a better life. I do everything for my two beautiful girls. I want to be their superhero, so I strive to be better every day in everything that I do.

Humility: I believe, in business, you cannot ask anyone to do a job if you can’t do it yourself. From a young age, I worked in our businesses, stocking shelves, cleaning restrooms, taking out trash. It helps you gain a respect not only for the job, but your employees who are doing it. You realize quickly that our success is not us, but the people who work for us. They are the ones on the front lines taking care of our customers, our clients, our business. Without them we could not be where we are today, and that is truly humbling.

Retrospect: If you are happy with your life today, you must appreciate every moment that has led up to it. Good or bad, without those experiences I would not be the man I am today, and I am blessed for this life.

Advice: If you want success in anything you do, you must believe in it with every fiber of your being. If you believe, you can inspire others to believe in you as well. Then work harder than everyone around you. Through this process you will grow and help the people around you grow, as well. Success will follow.

Challenges: Several business failures

Family: My dad taught me, above all else, to be honest, even if it puts you in a bad light. He used to quote me Shakespeare over and over. “To thine own self be true, and it shall follow, as the night follows the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Boldness, determination: Huge. Most of my success, to the extent I could control it, is because of my persistence and perseverance. I am not the smartest guy, but I can make up for that somewhat by outworking many of my peers. Once you have decided on a course of action, do whatever it takes to carry it all the way to the end, win or lose. My dad was a wildcatter and I learned that from him.

Humility: I have been very fortunate throughout my life, and I have had more than my share of good luck. I had two loving parents and a solid education. BHS Class of ’64 (“Once a Driller always a Driller!”) and USC ’69 (“Fight On!”). I never imagined that I would come as far as I have. I thank God and my family’s support of my work habits and odd ideas. Humility keeps one grounded and continuously thankful.

Retrospect: I wish that I had spent more time with my children when they were growing up. I should have come home earlier to help my wife finish her workday. Other than that, I don’t really have many regrets. I learned from every experience I had, good and bad. All those experiences prepared me for what I accomplished after my dad died. My dad left me a bit of money and a fair number of problems to manage and solve. But he trained me well, which gave me the intellectual tools to go out on my own and make my own way.

Advice: Much of life is out of our control and you will run into many forks in the road. Remember, character will count more than money when the great scorer comes to write across you name. Give it your best shot by believing in yourself, take risks and work hard.

Professional challenges: Understanding cultural nuances was a big challenge. Moving to the U.S., I had to grow accustomed to different phrases, beliefs, ways of living — a lot was different. Even the food tasted different. Navigating academia is similar to navigating an “invisible maze,” requiring courage, humility and determination.

Family ties: My parents, both accomplished in their fields, have played a significant role in my life.

Boldness, determination: Boldness and determination played a significant role in my path. Some studies (and commercials) have shown that we make 35,000 decisions a day, some of which significantly impact our lives.

I was born and raised in Kenya, lived in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Bakersfield. I have had to make many bold decisions and said yes, even though I was very uncertain of the outcome. One mantra I learned from my late dissertation adviser was, “Say yes, even if you do not know how to do it, then figure it out, learn along the way.” Most of these decisions were scary, but looking at the big picture and being determined helped.

Cultivating humility: I have surrounded myself with people who weren’t afraid to tell me the truth. This has helped in both my personal and professional life. I also recognize that no one can accomplish anything alone. We’re all blessed with talents, some innate and others acquired, that we all can benefit from if we seek out the support/help of others when accomplishing our goals.

Looking back: I don’t think I would change a thing.

Advice: Be yourself — seriously — be yourself. Don’t be afraid to try new things, be ambitious and always go that extra mile.

Professional challenges: The biggest challenge was learning that achieving success isn’t the result of pursuing success. Success seemed to come around as the result of pursuing higher-minded, outward-facing objectives. Creating jobs. Solving problems. Helping an economy grow. These are outward-facing objectives that are worthy of pursuit. Success seems more likely to show up when I focus on these sorts of bigger-picture endeavors.

Family ties: My journey started before I was born. In 1923, my great-grandfather Esiquio Damian immigrated from Zacatecas, Mexico, and found work at Monolith Cement Plant in Tehachapi. Our family served proudly at that cement plant for three generations. It wasn’t until the late 1980s that my father, Nick, nudged the family trajectory when he pivoted out of manual labor into the field of mental health services.

I’ve always perceived there to be a strong correlation between being a good worker and being a good representative of one’s family. My journey as an entrepreneur remains rooted in that perception.

Boldness, determination: Determination is everything. I left the San Francisco Bay Area to start a tech company in Bakersfield. People thought I was crazy! But Kern County was home, and I was determined to help build something special here. This determination endeared us to the community and helped us gain traction.

Cultivating humility: My teenage daughters keep me humble. Very humble. And I love them for that! Beyond that, I’ve learned that nothing is permanent. Success. Failure. Happiness. Sadness. It’s all transitory. Understanding the impermanence of all things fosters a sense of humility.

Looking back: In retrospect I would have had more reasonable expectations for myself. I vastly underestimated how much time it would take to build a company. My formal education was in social welfare and the entrepreneurial learning curve was long and steep.

Advice: Find mentors! Our city is teeming with generous people who are eager to share wisdom, advice and lessons learned.

Challenges: Navigating through challenges to get where I am took a combination of hard work, great partners, willingness to take risks, some good fortune, and most importantly, wise advice from my wife. It was my wife’s advice that led me to leave a partnership I was in and start my own practice. This led to me starting CBCC, and as it grew I took the risks to purchase and use the most cutting-edge technology in order to bring state-of-the-art cancer care to the Central Valley. These risks were rewarded and the practice achieved increasing success. Alongside our technology, I was lucky to find an excellent team of physicians and operators who helped us adapt to any challenge that came our way.

Family: As mentioned previously, being a husband was pivotal in my journey as my wife’s wisdom is what led me to start CBCC. Additionally, being a brother helped my journey as my younger brother Gitesh helped immensely in the formation and growth of CBCC along with my brother-in-law Satish and my sisters Dolly and Poppy.

Boldness, determination: Boldness played a huge role in my success. I had to be bold to try starting a one-stop comprehensive cancer center in the Central Valley when at the time nothing of the sort existed in the area. I had to be bold to buy cutting-edge technology with the risk that these purchases may not pay off. And I had to be determined in order to overcome all the challenges along the way in order to make my vision of a technologically advanced comprehensive cancer center in the Central Valley a reality.

Humility: Through my spirituality and meditation, I can see that I am just a small part of a massive universe. It is clear to me that I, like everyone else, am just a tool in assisting the universal good and from this viewpoint it’s hard not to be humble. As they say “It takes a village to raise a child.” I can’t forget this!

Advice: Focus on how your field can lead to benefiting the world as a whole and the success will come naturally with hard work, determination and humility. Always remember “The whole world is my family” and everything falls into place.

Challenges: My professional journey has faced many challenges, notwithstanding prejudice and the soft bigotry of low expectations. Over the years, I’ve worked extremely hard to convey that my competence outweighs any negative stereotypes, especially as a Black man.

Family: My family is the primary reason why I keep striving. Yes, I want to be an excellent provider and give them what they would like, but I also want to be a role model and an example of courage, faith and putting people first.

Boldness, determination: Perseverance is a value of mine. It is one of the key attributes that my grandparents and parents modeled for me. I’ve been told I can be bold and accept that mantle. Sometimes you must lay it all on the line, safety be damned, and let the chips fall where they may.

Humility: If I have attained any level of success, I acknowledge that I didn’t get here by myself. There have been too many people who have sacrificed, provided opportunities and advocated for me. How dare I say I’m a self-made man? I can provide a list of those who helped and guided me, and it would be awful and ungrateful to claim that any success I’ve garnered I did alone.

Retrospect: Looking back in the rearview mirror, I wish I had taken more chances earlier in my career.

Advice: Samuel Beckett wrote, “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” While they are young, I would encourage young men to take chances in life. Don’t be afraid of failure, but look at it as a teaching tool to gather the skill set and courage to grab hold of their dreams.

Challenges: The journey is what life is all about and success is somewhat of an illusion. I try to enjoy the daily journey and set attainable benchmarks to guide our team toward our mutually agreed upon outcomes. Quite often the journey takes an unexpected turn; that’s when the fun really begins.

Family: My parents, Ben Jr. and Mary, along with my two amazing sisters, Sally and Liz, created a positive environment that allowed me to believe in myself. Parenting our two sons, Cyrus and Mark, with the steady hand of their mother, Lisette Whitaker, expanded my journey. My wife, Debbie, has provided me with firsthand experience of unconditional love that keeps me enthused for each day of this journey.

Boldness, Determination: Taking risks and being risky are two separate things. My dear friends and family will attest that I have lived through both, at least so far. The bold moves in my career have been made with the support of our team. I have often found that leading our team means I help set the course and then get out of the way.

Humility: I’ve been told that humility does not recognize itself. Ponder that for a moment. I lost most of my hair by the age of 27, so I have been a funny-looking bald guy for more than 40 years. Humility comes with the territory. However, I have always been trying to tame my giant ego!

Retrospect: There’s not enough space to dedicate to this question. In retrospect I wish I had bought Bitcoin in 2011 for $1. For today, I try to bring myself to the present moment. When I stumble, I try to quickly rectify the action with a sincere apology and a real and meaningful change of behavior. I try to end each day with a self-evaluation. How did I do today? Hopefully, I did OK. Then I will try to start tomorrow with the intention of making the new day a good one for my family, my friends and my community.

Advice: Listen and learn. Paying attention to what is important to those around you is the key. Explore your opportunities and when you find your passion, go for it! Build your team by teaching, coaching and empowering. It’s a lot more fun to succeed as a team!

Challenges: There were several challenges, including limited financial resources, time management and overcoming mistakes, but the biggest challenge was convincing people to give us a chance to prove that we could deliver on the service that we set out to provide with our business when we were brand-new and didn’t have much experience behind us.

Family: I’m a husband, a father and a son, and each one of those roles plays a big part in who I am as a person and, in turn, each one creates a drive and determination to accomplish what I set out to do. Family is the reason I work in order to be able to provide everything they need and to set them up for the future the best way possible. Along the journey to success also comes the responsibility of being a good husband, father and son. I always try to find a balance to make sure I’m able to also deliver on that responsibility.

Boldness, determination: Both have played huge roles. There’s always going to be risk that needs to be taken on the road to success, but you must be bold and figure out a way to take those calculated risks. I also had to be determined to do all the work that was necessary. I’ve had to do the boring work, I’ve had to continue striving no matter how many times people said that it may not work, I’ve had to make mistakes and learn from them, and I always had to keep my goals in mind to not lose sight.

Humility: I come from a very humble background. We grew up with very little in terms of material things but with a lot of faith and love, and we were always surrounded by family and friends. To this day, it’s the little things in life that bring the biggest joy to me. No matter what level of accomplishment I may reach, I always remember where I come from and what’s important in life.

Advice: Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone because that’s how you’ll grow. Believe in yourself and others will also start to believe in you. Understand your limitations and learn how to rise above them.

Challenges: The first challenge was going into the banking industry in the late ’70s. They were just starting to accept people who looked like me. Once I got in the door, I was fortunate to get promoted into a management level quickly. After that, the next challenge was to parlay that early success (which included being in the right place at the right time) and moving from Ohio to Bakersfield in 1982. A few years ago, I ran into one of the board members of the bank that hired me in 1982. He let me know that he was part of the search committee that voted yes to offering me a position. That was followed by him being pleased with my professional accomplishments and how everything worked out after all those years.

Family: I’ve been fortunate to have been married for over 40 years to my wife, Betsy. She has been my sounding board for every career decision I’ve made. In fact, she was the one who said let’s move to California when offered the chance. Also, we were blessed to have two children born and raised in this community. Because of them I felt it was important to show them how to act through my activities both at home and work. I hoped that they would see that people who looked like me could feel comfortable in any environment.

Boldness, determination: I don’t know if this would be considered bold or just like others who have moved 3,000 miles from friends and family. This was to take a job in a city and state that I’d never been to in my life. But what it did do was force me to get involved with the community. I know it’s corny, but the only way to make things better was to get involved. So I volunteered for everything from youth sports coaching to nonprofit boards and organizations. As a result, I was truly blessed to meet and work with many amazing people along the way.

Humility: My wife, kids and friends keep me grounded. There is no hesitation on their part to let me know if I’m being a little too arrogant. Plus, my favorite type of people is those who are humble (and ironically not typically being asked to be part of this type of article).

Retrospect: Nothing, other than buying real estate at the coast 30 years ago.

Advice: Pick a great partner and career/field that you truly love. Because you will spend most of the time with both.